Augusten Burroughs

Pest Control The first time I was star-struck, the object of my affection was a glamorous Eastern Airlines stewardess. She had towering blond hair, frosted blue eyelids, and was well into her twenties. I was eight. We were thrown together when my parents put me on a flight by myself to...

If my father caught me he would cut my neck, so I just kept going. Broken sticks and sharp stones gouged my bare feet, but I didn't consider the sensation. A branch whipped across my face; I felt the sting and for an instant I was fully blind, but I didn't stop. His flashlight sliced into the...

JUST DO IT Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life. Like once, I had to do an ad for hair conditioner. The strategy was: Adds softness you canfeel, body...

Commercial Break When I was seven, I was plucked from my uneventful life deep in darkest Massachusetts and dropped into a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink commercial. It was exactly like being abducted by aliens except without the anal probe. I was a lonely kid with entirely imaginaiy friends. I...

JUST DO IT Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quaUty of Hfe. Like once, I had to do an ad for hair conditioner. The strategy was: Adds softness you can feel, body...

Pest Control The first time I was star-struck, the object of my affection was a glamorous Eastern Airlines stewardess. She had towering blond hair, frosted blue eyelids, and was well into her twenties. I was eight. We were thrown together when my parents put me on a flight by myself to...

Részlet: "A reklámszakmában néha előfordul, hogy az ember kap egy terméket, ami egy kalap szar, és úgy kell tennie, mintha egy fantasztikus, a minőségi élethez nélkülözhetetlen valamivel lenne dolga. Egyszer például egy hajkondicionálóhoz kellett reklámot készítenem. A...