The sleep of reason [antikvár]

chapter one VISIT TO A GRANDFATHER That afternoon I had been Walking with my son in what for me were familiar streets, streets of the town where I was born. I had taken him there only once before, when he was an infant. Now he was nearly fifteen, and we spoke the same language. I was taunting him because he had seen the 'pretty England' and nothing of the rest; until that afternoon he had never seen a provincial town like this. He grinned. Whose fault was that? he said. And yet the town was not so unpretty : shops glittered and shone, well-dressed women walked the pavements, fresh-skinned girls in their spring frocks : cars jarred and halted, bumper to stern, hoods dazzling in a burst of sunshine. Once I had heard a fellow citizen called Sawbridge saying, with equal disapprovai of the United States and his native town, that you could put the place down in the middle of America and no one would know the différence. It was nearly accurate, not quite. You could still, if you knew your way about, trace some of the streets of the old market town : narrow harsh streets with homely names, like Pocklington's Walk, along which I had gone to work forty years before, craving not to be unknown, craving to get out of here. That I did not explain to my son Charles, who was discreetly puzzled as to why we were wandering through a quarter which, to any unbeglamoured eye, was sombre and quite unusually lacking in romance. However, when we returned to one of the bright shopping streets, and someone greeted me by name, he did ask, after we had passed on: 'What does that feel like?' Probably it had not been an acquaintance from the past : this was 1963, and I had left the town for good in the late twenties : probably it was what Charles was used to, a resuit of photographs or the mass media. But he was perceptive, he guessed that being picked out in this place might pluck a nerve. Nevertheless, he was surprised by my reply. 'To teli you the honest truth,' I said, 'it makes me want to hide.' He glanced at me sidelong with dark searching eyes. He knew