Black Notice [antikvár]

December 6, 1996 Epworth Heights Luddington, MichiganMy Dearest Kay,I am sitting on the porch, staring out at Laké Michigan as a sharp wind reminds me I need to cut my hair. I am remembering when we were here last, both of us abandoning who and what we are for one precious moment in the history ofour time. Kay, I need you to listen to me.You are reading this because I am dead. When I decided to write it, I asked Senator Lord to deliver it to you in person in the early part of December, a year after my death. I know how hard Christmas has always been for you, and now it must be unbearable. Lovingyou was when my life began. Now that it has ended, your gift to me is to go on.Of course you haven't dealt with a damn thing, Kay. You have sped like hell to crime scenes and done more autopsies than ever. You have been consumed by court and running the institute, with lecturing, worrying about Lucy, getting irritated with Marino, eludingyour neighbors and fearing the night. You haven't taken a vacation or a sick day, no matter how much you've needed it.It's time to stop dodgingyour pain and let me comfortyou. Hold my hand in your mind and remember the many times we talked about death, never accepting that any disease or accident or act ofviolence has the power ofabsolute annihilation because our bodies are just the suits we wear. And we are so much more than that.Kay, I want you to believe I am somehow aware ofyou as you read this, somehow looking after you, and that everything's going to be all right. I ask you to do one thing for me to celebrate a life we've had that I know will never end. Call Marino and Lucy. Invite them over for dinner tonight. Cook one ofyourfamous meals for them and save a place for me.I love you forever, Kay, Benton